Fun on the Web vol 2 Issue 48 - Dec 20, 2003
Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 2 Issue 48, December 20, 2003
Volume 2 Issue 48, December 20, 2003
Did you just get another card from someone you didn't
send one? No its not too late for a cybercard.
Thanks to Sheila for this really pretty card.
http://holidays.blastcomm.com/
Thanks to Mike for sending this year's fabulous card from
the artist Jackie Lawson. Merry Christmas to all my readers!
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=0212320003
send one? No its not too late for a cybercard.
Thanks to Sheila for this really pretty card.
http://holidays.blastcomm.com/
Thanks to Mike for sending this year's fabulous card from
the artist Jackie Lawson. Merry Christmas to all my readers!
http://www.jacquielawson.com/
Thanks to my sister for the Christmas Bells
Other card sites
http://www.thespark.com/cards irreverent but funny
http://www.postcards.org pretty funny
http://moma.e-cards.org touch of class
http://www.postcardmaker.com build your own
http://www1.beatgreets.com with real music
http://www.aaapostcards.com &n bsp; no popups
http://www.1christianecards.com no popups
http://www.sende-flower.com no popups
http://www.123greetings.com lots of popups
http://www.1lovecards.com lots of popups
http://www.cyberkisses.com kisses ? ? ?
Last minute gifts (print on your printer)
Oh wow, you really can buy anything on ebay:
restaurant gift certifi cates going for 10 cents on the dollar
http://search.stores.ebay.com/search/search.dll?GetResult&sid=29396906&fp=0&srchdesc=y&query=restaurant
More holiday recipes
https://www.bettycrocker.com/theme.asp
http://www.postcards.org
http://moma.e-cards.org
http://www.postcardmaker.com
http://www1.beatgreets.com
http://www.aaapostcards.com &
http://www.1christianecards.
http://www.sende-flower.com
http://www.123greetings.com
http://www.1lovecards.com
http://www.cyberkisses.com
Last minute gifts (print on your printer)
Oh wow, you really can buy anything on ebay:
restaurant gift certifi cates going for 10 cents on the dollar
http://search.stores.ebay.com/
More holiday recipes
https://www.bettycrocker.com/
Ho ho home of Rock N Roll Christmas
http://www.mistletunes.com/
Need lyrics for Christmas tunes
http://www.christmas-songs-lyrics.com/
http://www.nevada.edu/~blake/Christmas.songs.html
http://www.christmas-tree.com/stories/songs.html
You need powerpoint for the 3 Wise Women
http://www.mistletunes.com/
Need lyrics for Christmas tunes
http://www.christmas-songs-
http://www.nevada.edu/~blake/
http://www.christmas-tree.com/
You need powerpoint for the 3 Wise Women
Not sure how effective a charity is?
http://www.charitywatch.org/
http://www.charitynavigator.
Not an evaluator but this may help pick a small charity
http://www.give.org/
Bargain hunting sites:
http://www.299pcdeal.com
http://www.FatWallet.com
http://www.CouponMountain.com
http://www.Savings-Center.com
http://www.QuicktoClick.com
http://www.nextag.com
From I'm Not Martha (to subscribe go to:)
http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/notmartha.html
According to Jewish law, dancing and singing are happily a
part of Chanukah. No solemn and somber occasion, Chanukah
is a celebration centered on lighting of the menorah, enjoying
family, and sharing good things to eat. One food that has
become closely associated with the holiday is the potato
pancake--called latke in Yiddish.
Making a family production of latkes is a venerated holiday
custom in many homes. The kids shred the potatoes, Mom
mixes all the recipe ingredients together, and Dad forms and
fries the latkes.
*LATKES
What is the secret to making great latkes? The starchier the
potato, the crisper the latke...baking potatoes (the starch-
iest) or Yukon Golds. You can easily double this recipe for
a crowd.
1 lb potatoes
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 to 3/4 cup olive oil
Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.
Peel potatoes and coarsely grate by hand, transferring to a
large bowl of cold water as grated. Soak potatoes 1 to 2
minutes after last batch is added to water, then drain well
in a colander.
Spread grated potatoes and onion on a kitchen towel and
roll up jelly-roll style. Twist towel tightly to wring out as
much liquid as possible. Transfer potato mixture to a bowl
and stir in egg and salt.
Heat 1/4 cup oil in a 12-inch nonstick skillet over moder-
ately high heat until hot but not smoking. Working in
batches of 4 latkes, spoon 2 tables poons potato mixture
per latke into skillet, spreading into 3-inch rounds with a
fork. Reduce heat to moderate and cook until undersides
are browned, about 5 minutes. Turn latkes over and cook
until undersides are browned, about 5 minutes more.
Transfer to paper towels to drain and season with salt.
Add more oil to skillet as needed. Keep latkes warm on a
wire rack set in a shallow baking pan in oven.
Cooks' notes:
* Latkes may be made up to 8 hours ahead. Reheat on a
rack set over a baking sheet in a 350 degrees F oven, about
5 minutes.
* Grating the potatoes, soaking them briefly in water, and
then squeezing out the liquid (as we've done here) keeps
the batter from turning brown too quickly.
Makes 12 to 16 latkes.
Gourmet December 2000
WHAT TO SERVE WITH LATKES
Traditionally, you offer sour cream and applesauce....not
in the same bowl...as condiments. Me, I'm a sour cream gal...
but I l ove homemade applesauce so I take a big spoonful
as sort of a "chaser". Yummy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed
a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St.
Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to
continue the service and went to talk to Bernie.
Rabbi: "What are doing here with a dog?"
Bernie: "The dog came here to pray."
"Oh, come on." says the Rabbi.
"YES!" says Bernie.
Rabbi: "I don't believe you. You are just fooling around;
that's not a proper thing to do in temple."
Bernie: "Its true!"..
"Ok", says the Rabbi (thinking he would call Bernie's bluff),
"then show me what the dog can do."
"OK" says Bernie nodding to the dog...The dog proceeds
to open up the barrel under his neck and removes a
yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on his head) and prayer book
and actually starts saying prayers in Hebrew ! The Rabbi is
so shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.
When the Rabbi regains his composure, he is so impressed
with the quality of the praying he says to Bernie. "Do you
think your dog would consider going to Rabbinical school??"
Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust says, "YOU TALK
TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shopping 101...
1. Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone.
2. If it's on sale, you need it.
3. Never ask your mother her opinion.
4. You can always take it back.
5. You'll grow into it.
6. By the time you need it, you'll lose ten pounds.
7. Never believe anyone who says, "It's really you".
8. If they're working on commission, they're lying.
9. Know when to yell, "Charge!"
10. So many malls, so little time.
11. If you put it on your credit card, it's not really
spending money.
12. Always try to spend someone else's money first.
13. There's no such thing as compulsive shopping,
just enthusiastic shopping.
14. Shopping is patriotic. It's good for the economy.
15. If you've still got checks, there must be money
in the account.
16. You can always get more credit.
17. If you want it, you deserve it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Phrosty the Photon" (sung to "Frosty the Snowman")
Phrosty the Photon was quite a quantum sight,
With a zero mass and an endless life, and a speed
approaching light.
There must have been some magic in a physics lab one
year, For when they studied X-Ray beams, old Phrosty
did appear, Ooooooh...
Phrosty the Photon says he knows he's not that large,
But he said one day, if he comes this way, he will give
us all a charge.
Thumpity, thump, thump, thumpity, thump, thump,
Moving fast as light.
Thumpity, thump, thump, thumpity, thump, thump,
Ph rosty's out of sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Gravity" (sung to "Jingle Bells")
A comet hits the Earth,
It's made of Methane Ice.
It makes a giant force.
Now isn't that so nice?
So, what made it come here?
What made it hit the Earth?
The answer's very clear, my friend,
It fills you up with mirth.
Oh, gravity, gravity,
Mass times nine-point-eight.
Remember, travel very fast
If Earth you must escape.
Oh, gravity, gravity,
Mass times nine-point-eight.
Remember, travel very fast
If Earth you must escape.
Walk around the Earth,
Keep a steady pace.
If gravity weren't here
You'd float away in space.
Call it what you want,
Call it any name.
But this force is a heavy weight,
Attraction is it's game; Oooooooh...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Deck The Physics Lab" (sung to "Deck the Halls")
Deck the physics lab with lenses, (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Light bends more when they are densest, (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
We can so observe reflection (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Not to mention its direction (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Stroboscopes are swiftly turning (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
While our eager minds are learning (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Light diffraction we can now see (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
See how fun our physics can be (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to Mike for this one
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for
his annual trip but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was
beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness
the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give
birth an d two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven
knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards
cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the
toys. Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup
of coffee and shot of whiskey. When he went to the
cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was
nothing to drink. In his frustration, he! dropped the coffee pot
and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen
floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had
eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then, the door bell rang and Santa opened the door and
there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The
angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree, fat man?"
And that my friend is how the little angel came to be on top
of the Christmas tree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also from Mike the Ding Fries So ng
Truly tasteless.
http://www.americanangst.com/dingfries.html
http://www.QuicktoClick.com
http://www.nextag.com
From I'm Not Martha (to subscribe go to:)
http://www.gophercentral.com/
According to Jewish law, dancing and singing are happily a
part of Chanukah. No solemn and somber occasion, Chanukah
is a celebration centered on lighting of the menorah, enjoying
family, and sharing good things to eat. One food that has
become closely associated with the holiday is the potato
pancake--called latke in Yiddish.
Making a family production of latkes is a venerated holiday
custom in many homes. The kids shred the potatoes, Mom
mixes all the recipe ingredients together, and Dad forms and
fries the latkes.
*LATKES
What is the secret to making great latkes? The starchier the
potato, the crisper the latke...baking potatoes (the starch-
iest) or Yukon Golds. You can easily double this recipe for
a crowd.
1 lb potatoes
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 to 3/4 cup olive oil
Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.
Peel potatoes and coarsely grate by hand, transferring to a
large bowl of cold water as grated. Soak potatoes 1 to 2
minutes after last batch is added to water, then drain well
in a colander.
Spread grated potatoes and onion on a kitchen towel and
roll up jelly-roll style. Twist towel tightly to wring out as
much liquid as possible. Transfer potato mixture to a bowl
and stir in egg and salt.
Heat 1/4 cup oil in a 12-inch nonstick skillet over moder-
ately high heat until hot but not smoking. Working in
batches of 4 latkes, spoon 2 tables poons potato mixture
per latke into skillet, spreading into 3-inch rounds with a
fork. Reduce heat to moderate and cook until undersides
are browned, about 5 minutes. Turn latkes over and cook
until undersides are browned, about 5 minutes more.
Transfer to paper towels to drain and season with salt.
Add more oil to skillet as needed. Keep latkes warm on a
wire rack set in a shallow baking pan in oven.
Cooks' notes:
* Latkes may be made up to 8 hours ahead. Reheat on a
rack set over a baking sheet in a 350 degrees F oven, about
5 minutes.
* Grating the potatoes, soaking them briefly in water, and
then squeezing out the liquid (as we've done here) keeps
the batter from turning brown too quickly.
Makes 12 to 16 latkes.
Gourmet December 2000
WHAT TO SERVE WITH LATKES
Traditionally, you offer sour cream and applesauce....not
in the same bowl...as condiments. Me, I'm a sour cream gal...
but I l ove homemade applesauce so I take a big spoonful
as sort of a "chaser". Yummy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed
a member of the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St.
Bernard dog. The Rabbi, horrified, asked the Cantor to
continue the service and went to talk to Bernie.
Rabbi: "What are doing here with a dog?"
Bernie: "The dog came here to pray."
"Oh, come on." says the Rabbi.
"YES!" says Bernie.
Rabbi: "I don't believe you. You are just fooling around;
that's not a proper thing to do in temple."
Bernie: "Its true!"..
"Ok", says the Rabbi (thinking he would call Bernie's bluff),
"then show me what the dog can do."
"OK" says Bernie nodding to the dog...The dog proceeds
to open up the barrel under his neck and removes a
yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on his head) and prayer book
and actually starts saying prayers in Hebrew ! The Rabbi is
so shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.
When the Rabbi regains his composure, he is so impressed
with the quality of the praying he says to Bernie. "Do you
think your dog would consider going to Rabbinical school??"
Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust says, "YOU TALK
TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shopping 101...
1. Get it now. Tomorrow it might be gone.
2. If it's on sale, you need it.
3. Never ask your mother her opinion.
4. You can always take it back.
5. You'll grow into it.
6. By the time you need it, you'll lose ten pounds.
7. Never believe anyone who says, "It's really you".
8. If they're working on commission, they're lying.
9. Know when to yell, "Charge!"
10. So many malls, so little time.
11. If you put it on your credit card, it's not really
spending money.
12. Always try to spend someone else's money first.
13. There's no such thing as compulsive shopping,
just enthusiastic shopping.
14. Shopping is patriotic. It's good for the economy.
15. If you've still got checks, there must be money
in the account.
16. You can always get more credit.
17. If you want it, you deserve it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Phrosty the Photon" (sung to "Frosty the Snowman")
Phrosty the Photon was quite a quantum sight,
With a zero mass and an endless life, and a speed
approaching light.
There must have been some magic in a physics lab one
year, For when they studied X-Ray beams, old Phrosty
did appear, Ooooooh...
Phrosty the Photon says he knows he's not that large,
But he said one day, if he comes this way, he will give
us all a charge.
Thumpity, thump, thump, thumpity, thump, thump,
Moving fast as light.
Thumpity, thump, thump, thumpity, thump, thump,
Ph rosty's out of sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Gravity" (sung to "Jingle Bells")
A comet hits the Earth,
It's made of Methane Ice.
It makes a giant force.
Now isn't that so nice?
So, what made it come here?
What made it hit the Earth?
The answer's very clear, my friend,
It fills you up with mirth.
Oh, gravity, gravity,
Mass times nine-point-eight.
Remember, travel very fast
If Earth you must escape.
Oh, gravity, gravity,
Mass times nine-point-eight.
Remember, travel very fast
If Earth you must escape.
Walk around the Earth,
Keep a steady pace.
If gravity weren't here
You'd float away in space.
Call it what you want,
Call it any name.
But this force is a heavy weight,
Attraction is it's game; Oooooooh...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Deck The Physics Lab" (sung to "Deck the Halls")
Deck the physics lab with lenses, (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Light bends more when they are densest, (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
We can so observe reflection (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Not to mention its direction (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Stroboscopes are swiftly turning (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
While our eager minds are learning (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
Light diffraction we can now see (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
See how fun our physics can be (Fa, la, la, la, la...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to Mike for this one
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for
his annual trip but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was
beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness
the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give
birth an d two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven
knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards
cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the
toys. Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup
of coffee and shot of whiskey. When he went to the
cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was
nothing to drink. In his frustration, he! dropped the coffee pot
and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen
floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had
eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then, the door bell rang and Santa opened the door and
there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The
angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree, fat man?"
And that my friend is how the little angel came to be on top
of the Christmas tree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Also from Mike the Ding Fries So ng
Truly tasteless.
http://www.americanangst.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moshe wants to buy a parrot and goes to his local pet shop
to see what they have. The assistant shows him a parrot
and explains that this one is really quite special -- it can
speak most languages. So Moshe decides to test this out:
"Do you speak English?" asks Moshe.
"Yes," replies the parrot.
"Hablas Espanol?" asks Moshe.
"Si," replies the parrot.
"Parlez-vouz Fransais?" asks Moshe.
"Oui," replies the parrot.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?" asks Moshe.
"Jawohl," replies the parrot.
"Falas Portugues?" asks Moshe.
"Sim," replies the parrot.
Moshe pauses for a while, then asks the parrot,
"Do you speak Yiddish?"
The parrot shrugs its shoulders and says,
"Nu? Vis a nose like dis, vot you tink?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Yes," replies the parrot.
"Hablas Espanol?" asks Moshe.
"Si," replies the parrot.
"Parlez-vouz Fransais?" asks Moshe.
"Oui," replies the parrot.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?" asks Moshe.
"Jawohl," replies the parrot.
"Falas Portugues?" asks Moshe.
"Sim," replies the parrot.
Moshe pauses for a while, then asks the parrot,
"Do you speak Yiddish?"
The parrot shrugs its shoulders and says,
"Nu? Vis a nose like dis, vot you tink?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my sister for this one
The Teacher, Ms. Pelzner, was very curious
about how each of her students celebrated
Christmas.
She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me
Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?" she asked.
Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Pelzner, me and
my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass
and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and
we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our
stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for
stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for
Father Christmas to come with all our toys."
"Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown what
do you do at Christmas?"
"Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church
with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home
ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney
and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting
for Santa Claus to bring our presents. "
Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not
wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked,
"Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?"
Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad
comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls
Royce, then we drive to his toy factory. When we get
inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to
sing 'What a friend we have in Jesus'. Then we all go to
sing 'What a friend we have in Jesus'. Then we all go to
the Bahamas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web this week!
If you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter,
please send it to them, complete with my e-mail address
so that they can subscribe.
If you would like a free subscription, send an e-mail
to bluesbaby@usa.com with subscribe in the subject line.
Don't forget to check out my webstores!
http://bluesbaby.surplusalert.com
http://bluesbaby.freeblvd.com
If you missed an issue or would like to refer back to a
link or a funny, I am in the process of adding the back
issues to an archive here: http://bluesbaby.8k.com
If you would prefer I remove you from my mailing please
respond with unsubscribe in the subject line.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web this week!
If you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter,
please send it to them, complete with my e-mail address
so that they can subscribe.
If you would like a free subscription, send an e-mail
to bluesbaby@usa.com with subscribe in the subject line.
Don't forget to check out my webstores!
http://bluesbaby.surplusalert.
http://bluesbaby.freeblvd.com
If you missed an issue or would like to refer back to a
link or a funny, I am in the process of adding the back
issues to an archive here: http://bluesbaby.8k.com
If you would prefer I remove you from my mailing please
respond with unsubscribe in the subject line.
Just keep repeating its almost Christmas and then I can relax
. . . its almost Christmas and then I can relax . . .
its almost Christmas and then I can relax . . .
its almost Christmas and then I can relax . . .
Have a very Happy Hanukkah,
a very Merry Christmas,
or a joyous Kwanza!
posted by Bluesbaby @ 11:14 AM
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