FUN on the WEB vol 3 issue 6

Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 3 Issue 6 February 9, 2004


Well it will be Valentines Day Saturday and if ecards
are your thing I have included some of the best sites.
(Guys you are warned chocolate always rules, but
jewelry and flowers are right up there too!) I couldn't
think of a more appropriate time to consider all the uses
for that age old sweet honey, so that's included here.



Card sites
http://www.quickegreets.com/valentine/index12.htm
http://www.ecards4free.com/valentines.htm
http://www.101valentinesday.com/
http://www.postcards.org pretty funny
http://www.bemine.com/ go to secret place
http://www.postcardmaker.com build your own
http://www1.beatgreets.com with real music
http://www.aaapostcards.com no popups
http://www.sende-flower.com no popups
http://www.cyberkisses.com kisses ? ? ?


Cool coloring pages and valentines for kids
http://www.dltk-kids.com/crafts/cartoons/zoo.html

Valentine rocks with a message?
http://www.2rocku.com/valentines.html

Darling Valentine Teddy Bears
http://store.yahoo.com/vtbear/index.html



(Best with Broadband) from RollingStone Magazine a free,
full length, blues song to download featuring Buddy Guy,
BB King and Eric Clapton
http://rollingstone.com/dds/track.asp?rid=40229&listen

More Free Legal Downloads here
http://www.rollingstone.com/dds/default.asp
If anyone finds more great blues online let me know!


You don't have to be a senior to enjoy the word games
and puzzles on AARP
http://www.aarp.org/games/


Interactive demo on making prints, etchings and
lithographs from the Museum of Modern Art
http://www.moma.org/whatisaprint/print.html


Underwater archeology
http://www.culture.gouv.fr/culture/archeosm/en/


Since 1996 Turbulence has commissioned, exhibited and
archived over 75 original artworks.
http://www.turbulence.org/



This one is creepy: they Rule is a website that allows you
to create maps of the interlocking directories of the top
100 companies in the US in 2001. It provides a facinating
look into the boardrooms. Once you enter, go to about
for details on navigation in this site.
http://www.theyrule.net/



Logical fallacies are errors of reasoning, errors which may
be recognized and corrected by prudent thinkers. Index
and descriptions of all known logical fallacies as well as
links to other online logic resources.
http://www.datanation.com/fallacies/index.html



Do you love "B" type horror movies? Largely ignored by
mainstream film buffs, and sorely under-appreciated,
William Girdler Sr. remains one of Hollywood history's
most prolific directors who's career was cut short.
http://www.williamgirdler.com/


A new episode of The Frank & Fritzy Show airs every
Wednesday (you'll need Real Player or Windows Media
Player to listen). Produced by the Smoking Gun, the
first of 45 episodes are here:
http://www.wmob.com/



See if your city is safe
http://www.morganquitno.com/



For several years now Jim has been posting evil cat pics
http://www.mycathatesyou.com/


Alton Brown explores the origins of ingredients, decodes
culinary customs and presents food and equipment trends
on the Food Networks "Good Eats".
http://www.altonbrown.com/
http://www.foodnetwork.com/



Snack reviews and where to buy regional or obscure snacks
http://www.taquitos.net/




RIGHT BRAIN - LEFT BRAIN
This is soooo stupid but true...
and it's going to drive you crazy!

While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the
floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this,
draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction and there's nothing
you can do about it, no matter how hard you try.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to k9keeperjane via GrandparentsRus for
Medicine in the Food Cupboard

Today, many people are battling to maintain themselves
and families on limited incomes. But there is a simple
product in the pantry which is a medicine and cosmetic
as well as a food.

Honey is mankind's oldest food and medicine but has been
overpowered by heavy advertising by the drug companies
which now take $600 million per year from the New Zealand
economy. Honey is a universal medicine and the other bee
products of royal jelly, propolis, bee pollen, wax and venom
have specific uses that we will not cover here today.

Here are 22 tips from the world of apitherapy
(medicine from bees) to cut your doctors' bill.
There are 750 different kinds of honey but any
will do for the following uses, although runny
honey is the easiest.

Honey for Burns
Apply freely over burns. It cools, removes pain and
aids fast healing without scarring. Apart from being
a salve and antibiotic, bacteria cannot live in honey.

Bed Wetting
A teaspoon of honey before bed, aids water
retention and calms fears in children.

Sleeplessness
A dessert spoon of honey in a mug of hot milk
aids sleep and works wonders!

Hyperactivity
Honey is a mild sedative with minerals, vitamins,
amino acids etc. Replace all white sugar with honey.
White sugar is highly stimulating with no food qualities!

Nasal Congestion
Place a dessert spoon of honey in a basin of hot water
and inhale fumes after covering your head with a towel
over the basin. Very effective.

Wounds or Grazes
Cover wound with honey and a bandage. Excellent healer.

For Fatigue
Dissolve a dessertspoon of honey in warm water or
quarter honey balance of water in a jug and keep in
the fridge. Honey is primarily fructose and glucose
and so it is quickly absorbed by the digestive system.
(Honey is a unique natural stabilizer - ancient Greek
athletes took honey for stamina before competing
and as a reviver after competition.)

Facial Deep Cleanser
Mix honey with oatmeal approx. 50/50 till thick and
apply as a face-pack. Leave on for half an hour then
wash off. Great as a deep cleanser for acne etc.

Poor Digestion
Mix honey with apple cider vinegar approx. 50/50
and dilute to taste with water - aids digestion. Also
reputed to be wonderful for the joints.

Hair Conditioner
Mix honey with equal quantity of Olive Oil and cover
head with a warm towel for half and hour then
shampoo off. Feeds hair and scalp. Hair will never
look or feel better!

Sore Throats
Let a teaspoon of honey melt in the back of the
mouth and trickle down the throat. Eases inflamed
raw tissues.

For Stress
Honey in water is a stabilizer - calms highs and raises
lows. Use approx. 25 percent honey to water.

Anemia
Honey is the best blood enricher by raising corpuscle
content. The darker the honey the more minerals it
contains.

Food Preservative
Cakes with honey replacing sugar stay fresher longer
due to natural antibiotics. Reduce liquids by approx.
one-fifth to allow for moisture in honey.

Heart patients
These people are well advised to replace white sugar
(sucrose) with honey, natural fructose and glucose.

Hayfever
Chewing the tops of comb honey stimulates the
immune system due to minute amounts of pollen.
During the season chew for 20 minutes a teaspoon
of bee cappings (tops) five to six times per day.
Highly effective and useful for asthma suffers as well.

Baby's Bottle
Four teaspoons of honey to a baby's bottle of water
is an excellent pacifier and multivitamin additive. If
baby's motions are too liquid then reduce by half a
teaspoon; if too solid increase by half a teaspoon.

Teething
Honey rubbed on a baby's gums is a mild sedative
and anaesthetic.

Osteoporosis
English research has shown that a teaspoon of
honey per day aids calcium utilization and prevents
osteoporosis. Essential from age 50 onwards.

Long Life
One common fact worldwide is that the most long-
lived people are regular users of honey. An interesting
fact yet to be explained is that beekeepers suffer less
from cancer and arthritis than any other occupational
group worldwide.

Migraine
Use a dessertspoon of honey dissolved in half a glass
of warm water. Sip at start of attack. If necessary
repeat in 20 minutes. Always effective (so tip goes)
as migraine is stress related.

Conjunctivitis (pus in the eye)
Honey dissolved in equal quantity of warm water.
Apply when cooled as lotion or eye bath.

COUGH MIXTURE
6 ozs liquid honey
2 ozs glycerine
Juice of 2 lemons
Mix well. Bottle and cork firmly. Use as required


Keep honey in first aid cupboard for emergency
burns etc and another in the kitchen cupboard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IRAQ -- VERY INTERESTING -- DID YOU KNOW?
Just in case you might think of Iraq as "only" an oil rich
nation, ruled by an evil dictator for 30 years, whether
it has been supporting terrorists or may not be very
important, here are a few important facts regarding
the important history and roles that this nation has
played down through history. It’s amazing how far a
place can fall with the wrong leadership.

1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq. (it sure doesn't look
much like Paradise on earth today thanks to Saddam)

2. Mesopotamia which is now Iraq was the cradle of civilization!

3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.

4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.

5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!

6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor which is in Iraq.

7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.

8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.

9. Assyria which is in Iraq conquered the ten tribes of Israel.

10. Amos cried out in Iraq!

11. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on
the wall" in Iraq. (Hey, This One Saddam finally did too!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On to the more silly stuff

Computer Virus Types...

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident.
It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service
you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're
paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits
erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the
other side for the problem.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then
self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service
stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds
of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of
which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with
marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38
percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus
a 3.5 percent margin of error).

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes
a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks
to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse
around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once
if by LAN, twice if by C:.

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file,
regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file,
it requires you to first see a counselor about possible
alternatives.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it
ever happened.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing
armies." ~~ Thomas Jefferson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would
never stoop to admitting it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my sister for this one
There was an old lady wandering around the supermarket
calling out, "Crisco, Crisssssssco!"

Soon a store clerk approached. "Madam, the Crisco is in
aisle D."

The old lady replied, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking
stuff, I'm calling my husband."

"Your husband's name is Crisco?"

The old lady answered, "Oh, no, no, no. I only call him that
when we're out in public."

"Well, what do you call him when you're at home?"

"Lard ass."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We Must Stop This immediately!

Have you ever noticed that when
you're of a certain age, everything
seems uphill from where you are?
Stairs are steeper. Groceries are
heavier. And, everything is farther
away... Yesterday I walked to the
corner and I was dumbfounded to
discover how long our street had
become!

And, you know, people are less
considerate now, especially the
young ones. They speak in
whispers all the time! If you ask
them to speak up they just keep
repeating themselves, endlessly
mouthing the same silent message
until they're red in the face! What
do they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger
than I was at the same age. On the
other hand people my own age are
much older than I am. I ran into
an old friend the other day and she
has aged so much that she didn't
even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear
while I was combing my hair this
morning, and in doing so, I glanced at
my own reflection...Well, REALLY
NOW-even mirrors are not made the
way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so
fast today! You're risking life and
limb if you just happen to pull onto
the freeway in front of them..
All I can say is, their brakes must
wear out awfully fast, the way I see
them screech and swerve in my rear
view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less
civilized these days. Why else would
they suddenly start labeling a size 10
or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they
think no one notices that these things
no longer fit around the waist, hips,
thighs, and bosom? The people who
make bathroom scales are pulling
the same prank, but in reverse. Do they
think I actually "believe" the number I
see on that dial? HA! I would never let
myself weigh that much! Just who do
these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority
to report what's going on -- but the
telephone company is in on the
conspiracy too: they've printed the
phone books in such small type that
no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning:
Maturity is under attack!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty
soon "everyone" will have to suffer these
awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE
YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO
WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY
STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font
size, because something has caused fonts to
be smaller than they once were too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After he asked her how she liked the game.

"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I couldn't understand it;
why they were killing each other for 25 cents?"

"What on earth do you mean???"

"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then
for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was, "Get
the quarter back! Get the quarter back!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with all
Microsoft products." ~~ Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web this week!

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Thanks and have a great week!
Oh and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY