FUN on the WEB vol 3 issue 12
Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 3 Issue 12 March 29, 2004
Sheila would like me to mention that our friends and favorite
flamenco artists Teye and Belen
http://www.teye.com
who we visited in volume 2 issue 39 were nominated for a
number of awards at the prestigious, invitation only event
S x SW in Austin TX recently. Of course they won!
To listen in to what you missed
http://www.sxsw.com/music/showcases/pages/T.html
No April Fools Jokes in this issue but from the Museum
of Hoaxes the Top 100 of all Time
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/aprilfool
More pranks
http://www.april-fools-tricks.com/
http://www.startingpage.com/html/jokes_pranks_practical_jokes.html
Oprah's Spring Cleaning Challenge - get advice from the experts
http://www.oprah.com/foodhome/home/home_housekeeping_landing.jhtml
Are you paying too much at the drug store?
http://www.wisinfo.com/northwestern/news/archive/local_14941406.shtml
The moral of the story: shop around and don't shop at the
"W" store (that can be Walgreens or Walmart in my book,
both are forcing out competition, mostly mom and pop
business that many times offer a better deal on better
products and certainly a better way of life for small business
owners than working for a "W" store.)
The State of Wisconsin thinks we pay too much and put
up the address for a Canadian Drug Site recently.
http://www.drugsavings.wi.gov
One of my readers has used this Canadian pharmacy and
recommended it to me.
http://www.pharmacy-online.ca/brand/index.jsp
Did you see how the electoral votes have been re-apportioned?
Make sure to click the button and look at both maps.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4415235/
A side by side comparison of Bush and Kerry on basic issues
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4448630/
Slate offers a more in depth look at the candidates
http://slate.msn.com/id/2085967/
Maximizing your credit rating
http://moneycentral.msn.com/Content/Banking/Yourcreditrating/Yourcreditrating.asp
Pre-trip I returned to Journey Woman and if you never
checked it out this is a great place to start when you are
planning to travel. They show neat stuff for women (or
anyone) on the go:
http://www.journeywoman.com/classifieds/interesting.html
Offbeat travel destinations
http://cbs.marketwatch.com/news/story.asp?siteid=mktw&dist=nwhpf&guid=%7BED05FDA4%2DE5FC%2D4E93%2D8063%2D6C32F245EAA4%7D
While on the road there is a man made castle being built since
1969 by one lone man, Jim Bishop. It's open to the public 7
days a week during daylight hours near Pueblo, CO.
http://www.bishopcastle.org/
More pics here
http://stevegarufi.com/bishopcastle.htm
http://sangres.com/forest/sanisabel/bishopcastle.htm
http://www.moosh.net/mark/castle/
http://bishopscastle.freeservers.com/
The story behind the castle
http://www.jantjeblokhuismulder.com/articles/bishopcastle.shtml
More great places to look for unique travel destinations
http://www.cr.nps.gov/nr/travel/onlineitin-trav.htm
http://www.sca-roadside.org/links.html
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/index.html
http://www.hamptonlandmarks.com/HamptonLandmarks/index.jsp
http://www.museumstuff.com/museums/usa/wisconsin/index.html
http://www.jantjeblokhuismulder.com/articles.shtml
http://www.orangeroof.org/
http://www.guidez.net/
http://www.world66.com/home
http://www.dorealhistory.com/
http://www.dataoptions.com/castlesvillas.htm
Armchair travel too
http://www.cr.nps.gov/nhl/travel.htm
http://www.virtualtourist.com/vt/
http://www.synaptic.bc.ca/ejournal/TravellersArmchairReadingList.htm
http://www.cowboy.com/search/historical_and_national_attractions/landmarks_and_locations/
2003 Political Dot Comedy Awards
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bldotcomedy2003.htm
With over 1500 Disney tattoos George claims to be the
biggest Disney fan. He also has a custom built Disney house!
Talk about Hidden Mickeys!
http://www.disneytattooguy.com
MSN offers the top email hoaxes
http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Banking/FinancialPrivacy/P46840.asp
If you want to check out hoaxes before you forward them,
these are all reliable, easy to use sites:
http://www.urbanlegends.com/
http://www.truthorfiction.com/
http://www.snopes.com/
http://www.vmyths.com/
As seen on http://www.wired.com/news/furthermore
08:41 AM Mar. 24, 2004 PT 'Think of it as a variation on the
old "If you didn't bring enough gum to share with everyone,
you can't chew gum" theme. Commissioners in Benton
County, Oregon, perplexed over the legal ramifications of
banning same-sex marriages, have decided to ban all marriages
until the courts settle the issue. As of 4 pm local time Tuesday,
the county stopped issuing marriage licenses, regardless of
the combination involved.'
My neighbor Mike sent me this
Try this very soon, before someone forces Google to fix its site:
1) Go to www.Google.com
2) Type in - weapons of mass destruction - (don't hit return)
3) Hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button, NOT the "Google search" button
4) Read the "error message" carefully - the WHOLE page.
Someone at Google really has a sense of humor.
Note from Christy
BTW Google is not responsible for this, it was put up by
the same people who also created this page
http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/blair.html
More funny 404 parody pages
http://melsbasketcase.tripod.com/404.html
http://www.plinko.net/404/
http://www.sendcoffee.com/minorsage/404error.html
http://www.mcsquared.com/error1.htm
http://www.saintaardvarkthecarpeted.com/404.html
http://www.se7en-x.com/oops/index.htm (naughty)
http://www.404lounge.net/
Another Parody site
http://www.shardsoglass.com
What could be better than to promote international
understanding through children's books? Or to give
children everywhere the access to books with high
literary and artistic standards
http://www.ibby.org
Peter Pan: http://www.hoboes.com/html/FireBlade/Barrie/Peter
Wizard of Oz: http://www.gutenberg.net/browse/BIBREC/BR55
The Jungle Book: http://www.literatureproject.com/jungle-book
Treasure Island: http://www.kellscraft.com/treasureislandcontent.html
Hans Christian Andersen:
http://www.classicbookshelf.com/library/hans_christian_andersen
Links to hundreds of Myths and Folktales
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/folktexts.html
One man's way to lose that weight (it's different)
http://www.mypetfat.com
Tis the season for getting outside again after the long
winter. Kites provide hours of fun and don't require a
set time, playing field or a team to play with.
http://www.miniatures.kitingusa.com
Kite festivals
http://www.kitelife.com/archives/SEPT991/daves.htm
Holy Cow look at all these kite sites!
http://www.cit.gu.edu.au/~anthony/kites/linkfarm.html
http://dmoz.org/Recreation/Kites/
http://individuals.kitez.com/
Nina Sobell - a pioneer video artist whose improvisational
time-based sound and image Web performances include
her drawing, sculpture and video. Emily Hartzell - a
multimedia artist, whose work includes photography,
artists books, video, multimedia, and drawings. She began
collarborating on this project in 1994. Jesse Gilbert -
composer, multi-instrumentalist, musicologist, and digital
audio specialist. Together they have created Park Bench
A History of Firsts on the Web.
http://www.cat.nyu.edu/parkbench/
Free anti virus software
AntiVir http://www.free-av.com
This anti virus program is totally free for home users who
make no profit from their computer, also free virus cleaner
Avast http://www.avast.com/i_idt_226.html
Free Scan
eClean http://www.ealaddin.com/home/csrt/stand_alone.asp
HouseCall http://housecall.trendmicro.com
Panda Free Trial http://www.pandasoftware.com/products/home_users.asp
Those of you growing your hair long may want to check out
http://www.geocities.com/thelonghairloom/HomePage.html
Play Thief of Hearts on Lifetime although its based
on rummy there are a few suprises
http://www.lifetimetv.com/games/thief/index.html
Catapult Game
http://www.lapoo.nl/catapult2/
Many hours of surfing pleasure here (bookmark for a rainy day).
It's a user maintained list of sites to visit when you are bored.
http://www.boored.co.uk/
For even more surfing Daypop is a current events search engine.
http://www.daypop.com/top/archive/2003/02/20030219180001.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and
said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way
to end an argument is to make love."
"Well," said the other, "that will certainly revolutionize
the game of hockey!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine muttering,
"You're a dumb-looking button. You don't have much of a
future, either. You're going to be replaced by a much better
looking button."
"What are you doing?" her girlfriend asked.
The blonde quickly pointed to the sign on the front of
the machine that read "DEPRESS BUTTON FOR ICE".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bumper stickers seen all over Arizona that say:
"SNOWBIRD SEASON. So many snowbirds,
so little freezer space".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when
your kids are teenagers don't reach them till they're in
their 40s.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I
work, I ask the patients if they are allergic to anything. If
they are, I print it on an allergy band placed on the patient's
wrists.
Once when I asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies,
she said she couldn't eat bananas.
Imagine my surprise when several hours later a very irate son
came out to the nurses' station demanding, "Who's responsible
for labeling my mother 'bananas'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A refresher course on gun control
a. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
b. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
c. Colt: The original point and click interface.
d. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
e. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
f. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
g. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
h. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
i. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
j. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights reserved.
k. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
l. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the
others.
m. 84,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
n. Guns only have two enemies: rust and liberals.
o. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace and
no safety.
p. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
q. 911 - government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
r. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
s. Criminals love gun control - it makes their jobs safer.
t. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
u. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to
control them.
v. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
w. Enforce the "gun control laws" we have, don't make more.
x. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you
create slaves.
y. The American Revolution would never have happened with
gun control.
z. "...a government of the people, by the people, for the people..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing
before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter
the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have
a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate
Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St.
Peter said, "So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with
the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover
feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas,
and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on
the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him
in a tomb behind a very large boulder ...
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews
roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his
shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of
hope over experience. The third marriage is the
triumph of stupidity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said he
would be willing to serve another term.
Greenspan went on to say, "Where else would I
get a job in this economy?" -- Conan O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had just moved to an address between Sunset Avenue
and Sunset Blvd., one of Sacramento's major streets, and
was explaining to a clerk where my home was located for
billing purposes. "I live between Sunrise and Sunset," I told
her.
"Oh, honey," she knowingly replied, "we all do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubba and Billy Bob are blondes from Alabama visiting a
relative in Georgia. Walking along Peachtree Street, they
see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each, shirts
$2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair."
Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, Look! We could buy a
whole lot of those, and when we get back to Alabama, we
could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you
be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they
hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in
my best Georgia drawl."
They go in and Bubba says, "I'll take 50 suits at $5.00 each,
100 shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at $2.50
each. I'll back up my pickup and ..."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Alabama,
aren't you?"
"Well...yes," says a surprised Bubba. "How come you know that?"
The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oneliners"
Never leave your wife's anniversary present in a Wal-Mart bag.
Children have more need of models than of critics
The person who pays for the pizza gets the toppings that
fall off in the box.
Definition of a will: It's a dead giveaway.
Sadder than work left unfinished, is work never begun.
Remove the silver from a mirror and even a rich man won't
see his face.
I don't need beauty sleep, I need a coma.
Don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
When you breathe, you inspire.
When you do not breathe, you expire.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why are you so upset?"
"My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning."
"So what?"
"So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband.
You know, one of the men I've been telling you about'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my sister for these . . .
"GLOBALIZATION; International Thinking At Its Best!
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky,
(check the bottle before you change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that uses Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian truck drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is "Globalization."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The results of a recent survey have been released.
It was a poll on how women felt about the size of their ass.
The findings of the study are very interesting:
85% of women think their ass is too big.
10% of women think their ass is too small.
5% of women say that they don't care, they love him and
would have married him anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter,
ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough
to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,
because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't
able to name that person, until the woman gave a very
touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily
let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to
giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in
general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little
in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men
started clapping their hands.........................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my neighbor Mike for these
Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue,
there was a good logical reason for removing the Ten
Commandments monument from the Alabama Supreme
Court building.
You cannot post things like "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou
Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a
building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a
hostile work environment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Seuss Sees America
The Whos down in Whoville liked people a lot,
But the Grinch in the White House most certainly did not.
He didn't arrive there by the will of the Whos,
But stole the election that he really did lose.
Vowed to "rule from the middle," then installed his regime.
(Did this really happen, or is it just a bad dream?)
He didn't listen to voters, just his friends he was pleasin'
Now, please don't ask why, who knows what's the reason.
It could be his heart wasn't working just right.
It could be, perhaps, that he wasn't too bright.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
Is that both brain and heart were two sizes too small.
In times of great turmoil, this was bad news,
To have a government that ignores its Whos.
But the Whos shrugged their shoulders, went on with
their work,
Their duties as citizens so casually did shirk.
They shopped at the mall and watched their T.V.
They drove a gas guzzling big S.U.V.,
Oblivious to what was going on in D.C.,
Ignoring the threats to democracy.
They read the same papers that ran the same leads,
Reporting what only served corporate needs.
(For the policies affecting the lives of all nations
Were made by the giant U.S. Corporations.)
Big business grew fatter, fed by its own greed,
And by people who shopped for things they didn't need.
But amidst all the apathy came signs of unrest,
The Whos came to see we were fouling our nest.
And the people who cared for the ideals of this nation
Began to discuss and exchange information:
The things they couldn't read, in the corporate-owned
news, Of FTAA meetings and CIA coups,
Of drilling for oil and restricting rights.
They published some books, created Websites,
Began to write letters, and use their e-mail
(Though Homeland Security might send them to jail!)
What began as a whisper soon grew to a roar,
These things going on they could no longer ignore.
They started to rise up and reach out to all
Let their voices be heard, they rose to the call,
To vote, to petition, to gather, dissent,
To question the policies of the "President."
As greed gained in power and power knew no shame
The Whos came together, sang "Not in our name!"
One by one from their sleep and their slumber they woke
The old and the young, all kinds of folk,
The black, brown and white, the gay, bi- and straight,
All united to sing, "Feed our hope, not our hate!
Stop stockpiling weapons and aiming for war!
Stop feeding the rich, start feeding the poor!
Stop storming the deserts to fuel SUV's!
Stop telling us lies on the mainstream TV's!
Stop treating our children as a market to sack!
Stop feeding them Barney, Barbie and Big Mac!
Stop trying to addict them to lifelong consuming,
In a time when severe global warming is looming!
Stop sanctions that are killing the kids in Iraq!
Start dealing with ours that are strung out on crack!"
A mighty sound started to rise and to grow,
"The old way of thinking simply must go!
Enough of God versus Allah, Muslim vs. Jew
With what lies ahead, it simply won't do.
No American dream that cares only for wealth
Ignoring the need for community health.
The rivers and forests are demanding their pay,
If we're to survive, we must walk a new way.
No more excessive and mindless consumption
Let's sharpen our minds and garner our gumption.
For the ideas are simple, but the practice is hard,
And not to be won by a poem on a card.
It needs the ideas and the acts of each Who,
So let's get together and plan what to do!"
And so they all gathered from all 'round the Earth
And from it all came a miraculous birth.
The hearts and the minds of the Whos they did grow,
Three sizes to fit what they felt and they know.
While the Grinches they shrank from their hate and
their greed,
Bearing the weight of their every foul deed.
From that day onward the standard of wealth,
Was whatever fed the Whos' spiritual health.
They gathered together to revel and feast,
And thanked all who worked to conquer their beast.
For although our story pits Grinches 'gainst Whos,
The true battle lies in what we daily choose.
For inside each Grinch is a tiny small Who,
And inside each Who is a tiny Grinch too.
One thrives on love and one thrives on greed.
Who will win out? It depends who you feed!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping
that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the
coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have ever refused to buy something because
it's "too spendy", you might live in Wisconsin.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
through March, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months
out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have
heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you
might live in Wisconsin.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha,
Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might
live in Wisconsin. (What??????? that's Minnesota hey)
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of
a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of
sky-blue waters,....you might live in Wisconsin.
Series II. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the
weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than
once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
and back again.
6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on
Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events.
(including weddings and funerals )
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and
venison.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or
girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at
Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over
a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes
are filled with snow.
15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter and road construction.
17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac du Flambeau.
19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
20. You know how to polka.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer
next to your blue spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you means Illannoyans(sic).
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday
27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."
30. You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE FIRST BLONDE MALE JOKE
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees
a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on
but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for
indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you
dressed like this?"
The Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the
bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to
go out to her motor home with her ... so I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull
off my shirt ...so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my
pants ... so I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my
shorts ... so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy
and says, "Now go to town cowboy... "
And here I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of
jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Thanks and have a great week!
Don't let anyone get you on Thursday.
Volume 3 Issue 12 March 29, 2004
Sheila would like me to mention that our friends and favorite
flamenco artists Teye and Belen
http://www.teye.com
who we visited in volume 2 issue 39 were nominated for a
number of awards at the prestigious, invitation only event
S x SW in Austin TX recently. Of course they won!
To listen in to what you missed
http://www.sxsw.com/music/showcases/pages/T.html
No April Fools Jokes in this issue but from the Museum
of Hoaxes the Top 100 of all Time
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/aprilfool
More pranks
http://www.april-fools-tricks.com/
http://www.startingpage.com/html/jokes_pranks_practical_jokes.html
Oprah's Spring Cleaning Challenge - get advice from the experts
http://www.oprah.com/foodhome/home/home_housekeeping_landing.jhtml
Are you paying too much at the drug store?
http://www.wisinfo.com/northwestern/news/archive/local_14941406.shtml
The moral of the story: shop around and don't shop at the
"W" store (that can be Walgreens or Walmart in my book,
both are forcing out competition, mostly mom and pop
business that many times offer a better deal on better
products and certainly a better way of life for small business
owners than working for a "W" store.)
The State of Wisconsin thinks we pay too much and put
up the address for a Canadian Drug Site recently.
http://www.drugsavings.wi.gov
One of my readers has used this Canadian pharmacy and
recommended it to me.
http://www.pharmacy-online.ca/brand/index.jsp
Did you see how the electoral votes have been re-apportioned?
Make sure to click the button and look at both maps.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4415235/
A side by side comparison of Bush and Kerry on basic issues
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4448630/
Slate offers a more in depth look at the candidates
http://slate.msn.com/id/2085967/
Maximizing your credit rating
http://moneycentral.msn.com/Content/Banking/Yourcreditrating/Yourcreditrating.asp
Pre-trip I returned to Journey Woman and if you never
checked it out this is a great place to start when you are
planning to travel. They show neat stuff for women (or
anyone) on the go:
http://www.journeywoman.com/classifieds/interesting.html
Offbeat travel destinations
http://cbs.marketwatch.com/news/story.asp?siteid=mktw&dist=nwhpf&guid=%7BED05FDA4%2DE5FC%2D4E93%2D8063%2D6C32F245EAA4%7D
While on the road there is a man made castle being built since
1969 by one lone man, Jim Bishop. It's open to the public 7
days a week during daylight hours near Pueblo, CO.
http://www.bishopcastle.org/
More pics here
http://stevegarufi.com/bishopcastle.htm
http://sangres.com/forest/sanisabel/bishopcastle.htm
http://www.moosh.net/mark/castle/
http://bishopscastle.freeservers.com/
The story behind the castle
http://www.jantjeblokhuismulder.com/articles/bishopcastle.shtml
More great places to look for unique travel destinations
http://www.cr.nps.gov/nr/travel/onlineitin-trav.htm
http://www.sca-roadside.org/links.html
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/index.html
http://www.hamptonlandmarks.com/HamptonLandmarks/index.jsp
http://www.museumstuff.com/museums/usa/wisconsin/index.html
http://www.jantjeblokhuismulder.com/articles.shtml
http://www.orangeroof.org/
http://www.guidez.net/
http://www.world66.com/home
http://www.dorealhistory.com/
http://www.dataoptions.com/castlesvillas.htm
Armchair travel too
http://www.cr.nps.gov/nhl/travel.htm
http://www.virtualtourist.com/vt/
http://www.synaptic.bc.ca/ejournal/TravellersArmchairReadingList.htm
http://www.cowboy.com/search/historical_and_national_attractions/landmarks_and_locations/
2003 Political Dot Comedy Awards
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/bldotcomedy2003.htm
With over 1500 Disney tattoos George claims to be the
biggest Disney fan. He also has a custom built Disney house!
Talk about Hidden Mickeys!
http://www.disneytattooguy.com
MSN offers the top email hoaxes
http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Banking/FinancialPrivacy/P46840.asp
If you want to check out hoaxes before you forward them,
these are all reliable, easy to use sites:
http://www.urbanlegends.com/
http://www.truthorfiction.com/
http://www.snopes.com/
http://www.vmyths.com/
As seen on http://www.wired.com/news/furthermore
08:41 AM Mar. 24, 2004 PT 'Think of it as a variation on the
old "If you didn't bring enough gum to share with everyone,
you can't chew gum" theme. Commissioners in Benton
County, Oregon, perplexed over the legal ramifications of
banning same-sex marriages, have decided to ban all marriages
until the courts settle the issue. As of 4 pm local time Tuesday,
the county stopped issuing marriage licenses, regardless of
the combination involved.'
My neighbor Mike sent me this
Try this very soon, before someone forces Google to fix its site:
1) Go to www.Google.com
2) Type in - weapons of mass destruction - (don't hit return)
3) Hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button, NOT the "Google search" button
4) Read the "error message" carefully - the WHOLE page.
Someone at Google really has a sense of humor.
Note from Christy
BTW Google is not responsible for this, it was put up by
the same people who also created this page
http://www.coxar.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/blair.html
More funny 404 parody pages
http://melsbasketcase.tripod.com/404.html
http://www.plinko.net/404/
http://www.sendcoffee.com/minorsage/404error.html
http://www.mcsquared.com/error1.htm
http://www.saintaardvarkthecarpeted.com/404.html
http://www.se7en-x.com/oops/index.htm (naughty)
http://www.404lounge.net/
Another Parody site
http://www.shardsoglass.com
What could be better than to promote international
understanding through children's books? Or to give
children everywhere the access to books with high
literary and artistic standards
http://www.ibby.org
Peter Pan: http://www.hoboes.com/html/FireBlade/Barrie/Peter
Wizard of Oz: http://www.gutenberg.net/browse/BIBREC/BR55
The Jungle Book: http://www.literatureproject.com/jungle-book
Treasure Island: http://www.kellscraft.com/treasureislandcontent.html
Hans Christian Andersen:
http://www.classicbookshelf.com/library/hans_christian_andersen
Links to hundreds of Myths and Folktales
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/folktexts.html
One man's way to lose that weight (it's different)
http://www.mypetfat.com
Tis the season for getting outside again after the long
winter. Kites provide hours of fun and don't require a
set time, playing field or a team to play with.
http://www.miniatures.kitingusa.com
Kite festivals
http://www.kitelife.com/archives/SEPT991/daves.htm
Holy Cow look at all these kite sites!
http://www.cit.gu.edu.au/~anthony/kites/linkfarm.html
http://dmoz.org/Recreation/Kites/
http://individuals.kitez.com/
Nina Sobell - a pioneer video artist whose improvisational
time-based sound and image Web performances include
her drawing, sculpture and video. Emily Hartzell - a
multimedia artist, whose work includes photography,
artists books, video, multimedia, and drawings. She began
collarborating on this project in 1994. Jesse Gilbert -
composer, multi-instrumentalist, musicologist, and digital
audio specialist. Together they have created Park Bench
A History of Firsts on the Web.
http://www.cat.nyu.edu/parkbench/
Free anti virus software
AntiVir http://www.free-av.com
This anti virus program is totally free for home users who
make no profit from their computer, also free virus cleaner
Avast http://www.avast.com/i_idt_226.html
Free Scan
eClean http://www.ealaddin.com/home/csrt/stand_alone.asp
HouseCall http://housecall.trendmicro.com
Panda Free Trial http://www.pandasoftware.com/products/home_users.asp
Those of you growing your hair long may want to check out
http://www.geocities.com/thelonghairloom/HomePage.html
Play Thief of Hearts on Lifetime although its based
on rummy there are a few suprises
http://www.lifetimetv.com/games/thief/index.html
Catapult Game
http://www.lapoo.nl/catapult2/
Many hours of surfing pleasure here (bookmark for a rainy day).
It's a user maintained list of sites to visit when you are bored.
http://www.boored.co.uk/
For even more surfing Daypop is a current events search engine.
http://www.daypop.com/top/archive/2003/02/20030219180001.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and
said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way
to end an argument is to make love."
"Well," said the other, "that will certainly revolutionize
the game of hockey!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine muttering,
"You're a dumb-looking button. You don't have much of a
future, either. You're going to be replaced by a much better
looking button."
"What are you doing?" her girlfriend asked.
The blonde quickly pointed to the sign on the front of
the machine that read "DEPRESS BUTTON FOR ICE".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bumper stickers seen all over Arizona that say:
"SNOWBIRD SEASON. So many snowbirds,
so little freezer space".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when
your kids are teenagers don't reach them till they're in
their 40s.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I
work, I ask the patients if they are allergic to anything. If
they are, I print it on an allergy band placed on the patient's
wrists.
Once when I asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies,
she said she couldn't eat bananas.
Imagine my surprise when several hours later a very irate son
came out to the nurses' station demanding, "Who's responsible
for labeling my mother 'bananas'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A refresher course on gun control
a. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
b. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
c. Colt: The original point and click interface.
d. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
e. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
f. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
g. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
h. If you don't know your rights you don't have any.
i. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
j. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights reserved.
k. What part of "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?
l. The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the
others.
m. 84,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
n. Guns only have two enemies: rust and liberals.
o. Know guns, know peace and safety. No guns, no peace and
no safety.
p. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
q. 911 - government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
r. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
s. Criminals love gun control - it makes their jobs safer.
t. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
u. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to
control them.
v. You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
w. Enforce the "gun control laws" we have, don't make more.
x. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you
create slaves.
y. The American Revolution would never have happened with
gun control.
z. "...a government of the people, by the people, for the people..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three blondes (natural) died and found themselves standing
before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter
the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have
a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate
Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.
The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St.
Peter said, "So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with
the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover
feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas,
and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on
the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him
in a tomb behind a very large boulder ...
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews
roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his
shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of
hope over experience. The third marriage is the
triumph of stupidity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said he
would be willing to serve another term.
Greenspan went on to say, "Where else would I
get a job in this economy?" -- Conan O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had just moved to an address between Sunset Avenue
and Sunset Blvd., one of Sacramento's major streets, and
was explaining to a clerk where my home was located for
billing purposes. "I live between Sunrise and Sunset," I told
her.
"Oh, honey," she knowingly replied, "we all do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bubba and Billy Bob are blondes from Alabama visiting a
relative in Georgia. Walking along Peachtree Street, they
see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each, shirts
$2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair."
Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, Look! We could buy a
whole lot of those, and when we get back to Alabama, we
could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you
be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they
hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in
my best Georgia drawl."
They go in and Bubba says, "I'll take 50 suits at $5.00 each,
100 shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at $2.50
each. I'll back up my pickup and ..."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Alabama,
aren't you?"
"Well...yes," says a surprised Bubba. "How come you know that?"
The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oneliners"
Never leave your wife's anniversary present in a Wal-Mart bag.
Children have more need of models than of critics
The person who pays for the pizza gets the toppings that
fall off in the box.
Definition of a will: It's a dead giveaway.
Sadder than work left unfinished, is work never begun.
Remove the silver from a mirror and even a rich man won't
see his face.
I don't need beauty sleep, I need a coma.
Don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
When you breathe, you inspire.
When you do not breathe, you expire.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why are you so upset?"
"My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning."
"So what?"
"So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband.
You know, one of the men I've been telling you about'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my sister for these . . .
"GLOBALIZATION; International Thinking At Its Best!
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky,
(check the bottle before you change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that uses Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian truck drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friends, is "Globalization."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The results of a recent survey have been released.
It was a poll on how women felt about the size of their ass.
The findings of the study are very interesting:
85% of women think their ass is too big.
10% of women think their ass is too small.
5% of women say that they don't care, they love him and
would have married him anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter,
ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough
to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,
because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't
able to name that person, until the woman gave a very
touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily
let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to
giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in
general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little
in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men
started clapping their hands.........................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my neighbor Mike for these
Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue,
there was a good logical reason for removing the Ten
Commandments monument from the Alabama Supreme
Court building.
You cannot post things like "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou
Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a
building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a
hostile work environment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Seuss Sees America
The Whos down in Whoville liked people a lot,
But the Grinch in the White House most certainly did not.
He didn't arrive there by the will of the Whos,
But stole the election that he really did lose.
Vowed to "rule from the middle," then installed his regime.
(Did this really happen, or is it just a bad dream?)
He didn't listen to voters, just his friends he was pleasin'
Now, please don't ask why, who knows what's the reason.
It could be his heart wasn't working just right.
It could be, perhaps, that he wasn't too bright.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
Is that both brain and heart were two sizes too small.
In times of great turmoil, this was bad news,
To have a government that ignores its Whos.
But the Whos shrugged their shoulders, went on with
their work,
Their duties as citizens so casually did shirk.
They shopped at the mall and watched their T.V.
They drove a gas guzzling big S.U.V.,
Oblivious to what was going on in D.C.,
Ignoring the threats to democracy.
They read the same papers that ran the same leads,
Reporting what only served corporate needs.
(For the policies affecting the lives of all nations
Were made by the giant U.S. Corporations.)
Big business grew fatter, fed by its own greed,
And by people who shopped for things they didn't need.
But amidst all the apathy came signs of unrest,
The Whos came to see we were fouling our nest.
And the people who cared for the ideals of this nation
Began to discuss and exchange information:
The things they couldn't read, in the corporate-owned
news, Of FTAA meetings and CIA coups,
Of drilling for oil and restricting rights.
They published some books, created Websites,
Began to write letters, and use their e-mail
(Though Homeland Security might send them to jail!)
What began as a whisper soon grew to a roar,
These things going on they could no longer ignore.
They started to rise up and reach out to all
Let their voices be heard, they rose to the call,
To vote, to petition, to gather, dissent,
To question the policies of the "President."
As greed gained in power and power knew no shame
The Whos came together, sang "Not in our name!"
One by one from their sleep and their slumber they woke
The old and the young, all kinds of folk,
The black, brown and white, the gay, bi- and straight,
All united to sing, "Feed our hope, not our hate!
Stop stockpiling weapons and aiming for war!
Stop feeding the rich, start feeding the poor!
Stop storming the deserts to fuel SUV's!
Stop telling us lies on the mainstream TV's!
Stop treating our children as a market to sack!
Stop feeding them Barney, Barbie and Big Mac!
Stop trying to addict them to lifelong consuming,
In a time when severe global warming is looming!
Stop sanctions that are killing the kids in Iraq!
Start dealing with ours that are strung out on crack!"
A mighty sound started to rise and to grow,
"The old way of thinking simply must go!
Enough of God versus Allah, Muslim vs. Jew
With what lies ahead, it simply won't do.
No American dream that cares only for wealth
Ignoring the need for community health.
The rivers and forests are demanding their pay,
If we're to survive, we must walk a new way.
No more excessive and mindless consumption
Let's sharpen our minds and garner our gumption.
For the ideas are simple, but the practice is hard,
And not to be won by a poem on a card.
It needs the ideas and the acts of each Who,
So let's get together and plan what to do!"
And so they all gathered from all 'round the Earth
And from it all came a miraculous birth.
The hearts and the minds of the Whos they did grow,
Three sizes to fit what they felt and they know.
While the Grinches they shrank from their hate and
their greed,
Bearing the weight of their every foul deed.
From that day onward the standard of wealth,
Was whatever fed the Whos' spiritual health.
They gathered together to revel and feast,
And thanked all who worked to conquer their beast.
For although our story pits Grinches 'gainst Whos,
The true battle lies in what we daily choose.
For inside each Grinch is a tiny small Who,
And inside each Who is a tiny Grinch too.
One thrives on love and one thrives on greed.
Who will win out? It depends who you feed!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through 38 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping
that the food will swim by, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights each year because Park Falls is the
coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have ever refused to buy something because
it's "too spendy", you might live in Wisconsin.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
through March, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months
out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the
middle of his forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have
heard of Head Cheese, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you
might live in Wisconsin.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha,
Menomonie & Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might
live in Wisconsin. (What??????? that's Minnesota hey)
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of
a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of
sky-blue waters,....you might live in Wisconsin.
Series II. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 8 for the
weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than
once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
and back again.
6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on
Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events.
(including weddings and funerals )
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and
venison.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife or
girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at
Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over
a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes
are filled with snow.
15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter and road construction.
17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac du Flambeau.
19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
20. You know how to polka.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer
next to your blue spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you means Illannoyans(sic).
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday
27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."
30. You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE FIRST BLONDE MALE JOKE
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees
a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on
but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for
indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you
dressed like this?"
The Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the
bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to
go out to her motor home with her ... so I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull
off my shirt ...so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my
pants ... so I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my
shorts ... so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy
and says, "Now go to town cowboy... "
And here I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Life isn't like a box of chocolates...it's more like a jar of
jalapenos.
What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope you enjoyed my fun on the web this week!
If you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter,
please send it to them, complete with my e-mail address
so that they can subscribe.
If you would like a free subscription, send an e-mail to
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http://bluesbaby.surplusalert.com
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or a funny, I am in the process of adding the back issues
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Thanks and have a great week!
Don't let anyone get you on Thursday.
posted by Bluesbaby @ 11:37 AM
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