FUN on the WEB vol 3 issue 14

Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 3 Issue 14 April 12, 2004


Hope you all had a good holiday. Here is the latest issue
to chase away the Monday blues.

All time famous science scams (if you like this check out
the Bad Science and Far Out links toohttp://www.guardian.co.uk/life/feature/story/0,13026,1083411,00.html


1000's of newspapers online
http://www.onlinenewspapers.com/
http://www.world-newspapers.com/alternative-news.html
http://aan.org/gbase/Aan/publicationDirectory


Virtual drum set (don't miss the presets at bottom of page)http://www.buckle.com/text/content/games/2003fall_drum_set/drums.html


1980's Lyric Quiz
http://www.yetanotherdot.com/asp/80s.html

Worldwide Geography Quizzes and other fun
http://www.lizardpoint.com/fun/index.html



Check out social networking ( shades of 6 degrees of separation)http://www.friendster.com/http://www.linkedin.com/http://www.plaxo.com/http://www.tribe.net/

Now that you found that date, pair wine and food
http://www.eatdrinkdine.com/index.html



For the travelers who are busy getting ready for spring
and summer vacations
http://www.concierge.com/destination
http://www.fodors.com/miniguides/
http://www.frommers.com/destinations/
http://www.getcustoms.com/
http://www.ontheroad.com/public/homepage.html
http://travelago.com/
http://www.virtualtourist.com/vt/
http://webcenter.travel.netscape.com/travel/destinations/guide.jsp
http://www.whatsontheplanet.com/wow/ptnr/united/page.jsp?fx=home

Really odd site but I found the travel humor pretty good
http://www.redtongue.com/tonguelashing.html


More than I wanted to know about sneakers oops I mean
athletic shoes. These were special shoes that Nike created
for the 2004 NBA All Star Game
http://www.5th-dimension.info/#


Great resource for gadgets - daily coverage of everything
new in gadgets and consumer electronics.
http://www.engadget.com/


bcentral - great advice columns for small business
http://www.bcentral.com/articles/expert.asp



just for a giggle, emails, interactive cartoons, and flash
entertainment
http://www.homestarrunner.com/
http://www.flash.artie.com/

A new online letter game click and drag when you find the
word, then the letters drop and a new word appears
http://www.miniclip.com/wcrunch-102mc-005.swf?mode=year

More games and puzzles - they will even email them for
free I like to play Da' Numba
http://www.miniclip.com/

Have you ever tried to "make a basket" with a wad of
paper?Here they add a fan to make it more interesting.
I want to know how long you have to play to make
3052 baskets.(the Global Best)http://game.panlogic.net/

Who likes trivia? New quizzes and games everyday.
http://www.funtrivia.com/



Free tarot reading from many different decks and reading types
http://www.soultospirit.com/practice/oracles/llewellyn_tarot.asp
other online oracles and fortunes
http://www.soultospirit.com/practice/oracles/index.asp



Thanks to Mike for this site with Bush merchandise
http://www.cafeshops.com/bettybowers/104850
Betty has even more fun stuff here
http://www.cafeshops.com/bettybowers


The lazy way to create that dear John letter
http://alumni.imsa.edu/~amyyan/php/dump.html

Prank lettershttp://www.boughtthought.com/

The dating scene is full of people who can't take a hint or
can't take "no" for an answer, maybe the Rejection Hotline
is a better ploy or use it for those annoying telemarketers.
(Only available in some selcted cities.)
http://www.rejectionhotline.com/



Arial tour of fabled Mount Olympus, games, things to do,
history, extensive who's who, and ecards (in goodies)
http://www.wingedsandals.com/



A rather credible blog here
http://stone.cenedella.com/


If you haven't watched until now (or you missed some
episodes - pretty hard to do when they run the previous
weeks episode regularly) you can catch up here. Exclusive
video, a short bio on Trump or play the game.
http://www.nbc.com/The_Apprentice/

Speaking of reality TV, we have all seen extreme this and
extreme that . . . well this is really extreme. One man all
alone in the Arctic from February to May 2004, his aim is
to ski from Russia to Canada via the North Pole.
http://www.sercotransarctic.com/

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One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching
the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and
pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the kids,
"What's in Here?"

"I know" a little boy exclaimed....."Pantyhose!"

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Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.

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"We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a
million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire
works of Shakespeare.

Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

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Lincoln studied by the light of a fireplace.
Mozart composed by candlelight.
Galileo invented by oil lamp.
Didn't they ever think to do their work during the daytime?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.
During a break, she decided to call home collect.

My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a
stranger's voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will
you accept the charges?"

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside
screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"

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SIGNS YOU ARE BEING STALKED BY MARTHA STEWART

* You get a threatening note made up of letters neatly cut
out of a magazine with pinking shears;
* You find a slice of lemon floating in your dog's dish;
* Every napkin in your house has been folded into the shape
of a swan;
* On her TV show she makes a replica of your home out of
gingerbread, including your fallen-down licorice downspout
and stuck-half-open, graham-cracker, garage door;
* You find your pet bunny simmering on the stove in an
exquisite, tarragon, rose-petal, and saffron demi-glaze.

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Marriages
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder
and lightning.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year,
the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year,
they both speak and the neighbors listen.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can
be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over,
made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided
to make a wish, too but he leaned over too much, fell into
the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment
but then smiled, "It really works!"

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before
you finish.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding,
economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished...

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For those of you contemplating the upcoming Golf Season
I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes
they'd come up sliced.

I've spent most of my life golfing. the rest I've just wasted.

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words
were taken.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men
whose wives think they are out having fun.

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in
baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write
down five.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you
can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the
golfcourse.

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"Law of Everything"
Five Jews changed the way we see the world :
Moses said: "The Law is everything."
Jesus said: "Love is everything."
Marx said: "Money is everything."
Freud said: "Sex is everything."

Then came Einstein....
He said: "Everything is relative!"

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Tired of Cleaning???

Dirt:
Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpfulfilter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it anSPF factor of 15 and leave it alone
Cobwebs:
Cobwebs artfully draped over lamp shades reduce the glarefrom the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. Ifyour husband points out that the light fixtures needs to bedusted, simply look confused and exclaim "What? And spoilthe mood?" (Or just throw glitter on them and call themholiday decorations.)
Pet Hair:
Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorby claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffinghand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.(Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)
Guests:
If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightlyinto one room and close the door. As you show your gueststhrough your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously,fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffyhates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."
General Cleaning:
Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner withfour cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly.Leave dampened rags in conspicuous location. Develop anexhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, "Iclean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere." As a lastresort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon ina pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have beenbaking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite charity andhaven't had any time to clean . . . works every time!
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Thanks to Anita for this one
(got a slightly different version from my neighbor Mike
so I hope you all haven't seen this one already)

I got a new car radio yesterday. It has voice recognition.
You shout "soul" and it plays soul.You shout "rock" and it
plays rock and roll.Some children ran in front of my car
yesterday. I yelled out "F*#%ing kids!". My radio started
playing Michael Jackson.

Sooooo.......what happens if some "F*#%ing kids" run in
front of your car & you yell "WHAT A BOOB!".........
will Janet Jackson appear??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

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