FUN on the WEB vol 3 issue 22

Fun on the weekly web and other chuckles
Volume 3 Issue 22 June 14, 2004

Right now I am looking forward to the Big Gig, as we call
it here, that's Summerfest for those who have not been
there yet. It's our annual music festival with about 450
bands of many descriptions from different genres, over
10 days on a dozen different stages. Add food, beer, and
lots of sunshine, then you get a party that's hard to beat.
http://www.summerfest.com

Well as you may know I was off traveling again, but I am
back home and recovered from my wanderings. First I took
off to the Inner Harbor of Baltimore.
http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/visitor/bal-guide-innerharbor.htmlstory

Where I stayed at the beautiful Harbor Court, which I was
told (repeatedly) is the only 5 star hotel in Baltimore. A bit
pricey so meals were caught elsewhere. The view was just
spectacular since its across the street from the harbor.
http://www.harborcourt.com

I enjoyed the M & S Grill (owned by McCormick & Schmick) so
much the first evening (salmon stuffed with brie, scallops and
shrimp) I went back a couple days later for lunch. Would you
believe a whole pound of bacon on a BLT!?! Yummy. If you
go, don't miss the dessert sampler or the $1.95 menu specials
during happy hour M - Thurs 5-7pm and Sun - Thurs 9-11pm.
http://www.mccormickandschmicks.com/index.cfm
http://entertainment.baltimoresun.com/top/1,1419,p-artslife-restaurantsfood-X!PlaceDetail-7833,00.html

Another must do Baltimore experience is Phillip's Seafood.
There are 3 in Harborplace, a sit down restaurant where I had
an up close experience with a cicada, a seafood buffet where
the kids and I pigged out, and a lunch counter. The food was
great, the buffet was bountiful and the 44 oz margaritas were
not too strong (you could actually enjoy both it and the food).
http://www.phillipsfoods.com/
Where you can find out the Phillip's story, find a retail outlet
near you, a restaurant, get recipes, or order online.

I learned that crabcakes are a different experience in each place
you go and nowhere illustrated that better than the Ruth's Chris
Steakhouse where the Blue Crab Cakes served sizzling in butter
were as delicious as the steaks. Caution, large portions on hot,
HOT, HOT plates broiled at 1800 degrees to sear in the juices.
DO NOT TOUCH the plates! But the food stays hot, which is a
big plus since it takes a while to savor every bite.
www.ruthschris-baltimore.com

If you haven't been there yet, the 80 locations worldwide may
allow you try it as you travel in the US, Canada, and Mexico.
http://www.ruthschris.com

The entire Harbor has been renovated as a tourist attraction
and is served by water taxi and the Ducks which offer an
80 minute tour of the harbor, Little Italy, Fells Point, the
original Washington Monument, and even Poe's grave. Our
driver "Captain Joe" was a riot and lead us in song with a
duck call (they give these out to the passengers). We all
greeted people on the street with a quack and friendly wave.
http://www.baltimoreducks.com

More about my trip out east next time.

This week we lost another of the great talents at age 73, Ray
Charles. For a retrospective of his life and career see this site
and don't miss the links for a few songs and a slide show
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/06/11/arts/music/11CHAR.html

This news site "produced daily, seven-days-a-week, 365-days
a year (well, 366 on Leap Years') and is updated throughout
the day. . . started by a grouchy old ex-newspaperman and
joined, more or less, by a ragtag cast of current and ex-
newspaper men and women who wander in and out" is an
amusing read and contains an extensive today in history page.
http://www.capitolhillblue.com/

Just too many passwords? While I use an old address book
at home, I still haven't figured out how to take them with me
safely. Here are some suggestions.
http://www.informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=19202221

The LATimes article offering health benefits on coffee:
reduced risk of diabetes, gallstones, and Parkinson's.
(You may have to register but its free.)
http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-coffee7jun07.story

Visit the Happiest Place on Earth online
http://disneyland.disney.go.com/dlr/special/golden/index?id=DLR50thHomepagePage&bhcp=1

From the Discovery Channel and the NY Times
http://times.discovery.com/

If you haven't switched from IE to myIE2 you might want to
check it out here (Its Free)
http://www.myie2.com/html_en/home.htm

Other free software that will work with MYIE2
http://m2.overseasky.net/forum_topics.asp?FID=21&PN=1
http://myie2.tarapages.com/

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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-Albert Einstein

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mattel is releasing a new "Teacher" Barbie next week.
Apparently, it's just like Malibu Barbie--only she can't
afford the Corvette."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for people
to participate in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
They were looking for therapy clients who had been
diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying;
they got 300 responses the day after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE.
There are 20 questions about things we see every day. How
many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder
than you think--it just shows you how little we pay attention
to the common place things of life. Put your thinking caps on.

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or
bottom?
2. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
3. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters
by them?
4. When you walk does your left arm swing w/your right or
left leg?
5. How many matches are in a standard pack?
6. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
7. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clock-
wise?
8. Which way does a "no smoking" sign'sslash run?
9. Which side of a women's blouse are the buttons on?
10. Whose face is on a dime?
11. How many sides does a stop sign have?
12. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left
side?
13. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
14. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
15. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc: Who's missing?
16. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
17. On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
18. There are 12 buttons on a touch-tone phone. What 2 symbols
bear no digits?
19. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
20. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
Don't look at answers below until you finish all the questions!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"In the latest Broadway news P. Diddy is starring in a show.
This is actually his second play he's been in. The first was
'Puffy Get Your Gun!'" --David Letterman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone knows Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong,
will..." - Here are some other Laws you may not have heard!

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become
coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.

Lowery's Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it
breaks, it needed replacing anyway

Beach's Law: Interchangeable parts aren't.

William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult
that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

Lane's Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need
is always in short supply.

Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for
work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will
have a flat tire.

Norman Einstein's Law: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't
stupid.

Col. Murphy's Law of Combat: Never forget that your
weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A trendy bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy
came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ"?

The man replied, "130".

So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics,
astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on.

The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool".

Another guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him,
"What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "100."

So the robot started talking about the football, baseball and so
on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool".

A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot
asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "70".

The robot then said, "So, what's the Republican Party up to
these days?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to my neighbor Mike for these:

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age
are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same
size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old
ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you
are probably dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to Erin for this one:

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist
lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later
he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms
and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won
a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on
into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's President of the United
States."

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* * * Answers * * *
1. Bottom
2. Right
3. 1, 0
4. Right
5. 20
6. Red
7. Counter (north of the equator)
8. Towards bottom right
9. Left
10. Roosevelt
11. 8
12. Left
13. 5
14. 6
15. Bashful
16. Ace of spades
17. ONE
18. *, #
19. 3
20. Counter
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